Its alright........i'll be ok

I sat in the physician's office with my dad, he'd just been going downhill for some time, and finally he knew he just had to understand the reasons for his physical failings.
Following some brief but revealing simple tests, the doctor advised admission to the hospital. As we waited for the doctor to make arrangements… I looked at dad and said…"well, finally we'll get to the bottom of this".. Dad replied, "aw, I'll probably croak there." I just said "Naw, you can't, I need you too much'"…he grabbed my hand tight for as weak as he was, and said, " I need you too"….with his weak tired smile...

Once at the hospital, the more doctors that came, the less I liked what I heard. Recounting the last 2 months and more of how he had just went downhill in my mind, plus knowing the investigative procedures they were planning on doing, added to some information one physician just happened to leave out in 2007, some very shocking information.

I watched as the tech did a procedure on dad. He lay so quiet and still. I thought to myself," dad, I really do need you, I'm not ready to let go, you have to hang with me".

And then I took another look….I saw a body, nothing but skin and bones, his face as white as the sheets, drifting off to sleep, as he does thru out the day….but is dad ready?…is he ready to go?….is he just too tired?
Its time Janice…time…to let go and say…"It's alright…I'll be ok, I'll take good care of mom."

at rest..

On August 3rd, my father entered his Heavenly home, at 12:10 pm with family members surrounding him. He rested peacefully that morning in his favorite spot to nap, his sofa in his living room, where the sun could shine upon him, as he always loved and that is where he passed from this world, but never from our hearts.

my dear sweet father

my father...who i wrote about in my blog "the person behind the persona"...will be going home tomorrow...home to rest and have his last few words with his family...my dear sweet father is going home to die. Of course with the utmost of dignity, he prepares. He speaks of his service, his obituary, what he wishes to wear...he weeps over his deepest regret, placing his sweetheart, my mother in a nursing home..i reassure him that we will take good care of mother. but he knows, that any number of us will never replace his faithful presence with her. i remind him of all of his accomplishments, how well known and respected he is.. and that the attendance at his funeral will be many...he chides me for thinking such....but i smile at him for i know. i also know dear sweet Father that the heavens will shout as you enter in for He will be saying, "Well done good and faithful servant."

i love You, Daddy, and will miss you so.

Your right hand man..